Half as close as I want to be

Every year for at least 10 years, I pull up Relient K’s Christmas album on Dec 1.

And I listen to it at least 10x before New Year’s Day.

It goes by quickly in the car.

More Christmas music.

The fast tracks appeal to my coming-of-age music tastes: the nostalgia of pop punk drums ramming double time beats under traditionally mellower melodies, and upper register vocals ripping simple, three-part harmony.

And each year, I think about saying something about the song “I Celebrate the Day.”

He’s singing to Jesus:

🎶 Because here is where You're finding me,
🎶 In the exact same place as New Year's eve
🎶 And from a lack of my persistency
🎶 We're less than half as close as I want to be

Perhaps all I’m looking for is curiosity — do you, my friends, ever feel half as close to God and Christ as you wish to be … or is it just me.

Part of my relationship with God and His Son is a deep understanding of Their consistency.

Always being there.

And the expressed sadness of this song stirs my heart. I feel convicted: there is so much more I could do to be near God. My efforts to meet Him are feeble compared to all He does to meet me.

What gets touched is my longing — a hopeful longing — to do nothing but that which has me feel on God’s plane.

I speak often about getting better year after year.

Always learning and growing. Each year, the best one yet.

I believe a commitment to improvement and growth honors my God who created me and gave me life.

While I recognize and acknowledge meaningful growth each year, I haven’t yet made Heaven on Earth … for myself or others. I love where I am. And there’s still more. More goodness. More truth. More beauty … to experience and master and convey in my life thru word and deed.

And it’s all right there. A generous God has the infinity of blessings in His hands, ready and willing to share. It is on me to open and receive and let in all that is already showering down around me. I am aware of ways I try to go it alone, or forget His infinite love and acceptance and mercy, or believe a delay is required when perhaps divinely it is not.

🎶 And with this Christmas wish is missed
🎶 The point I could convey
🎶 If only I could find the words to say to let
🎶 You know how much You've touched my life

One thing that has become clear to me this year and this Christmas is I have no idea how to relate to you my relationship with God.

I can talk about the Church and my relationship with it all day. The serving. The showing up. The behaviors. The history. The actions. The scriptures. The prophets. The habits. The structure. The strengths. The weaknesses. The light. The shadows. The people. The structures.

But my beliefs … what I feel in my core and at my roots about where I stand with God, His infinite goodness, the all-pervasive power to heal and empower … I don’t know where to begin.

It’s all there, but an unarticulated, mostly frameless swirl of senses. An eternal mist I feel deeply acquainted with, but just within. Without word or ability to convey.

🎶 And so this Christmas I'll compare
🎶 The things I felt in prior years
🎶 To what this midnight made so clear
🎶 That You have come to meet me here

I’m searching. And yearning. And looking at giving word to these forms.

For now in this Christmas season, this much I can say — whether I’m looking hard or not — God so often has met me here, right where I am.

And I believe that He will, for me and you, year after year.

From another lesser known carol:

🎶 Now let us be merry, put sorrow away;
🎶 Our Savior, Christ Jesus, was born on this day

Merry Christmas 🌟

A Christmas scene: the manger in a stable
By |2023-01-31T17:29:36-07:00December 21st, 2022|General Life|0 Comments

Merry Christmas: “Witnesses of Christ” Christmas Concert

Christmas concerts, cookies, caroling and celebrating Christ. I look forward to the holidays every year.

But as the years go on, I wonder if I’ll feel the spirit of the season — whether I’ll access the youthful, innocent spirit of wonder, or if cynicism, disappointment and growing responsibilities have layered so thick that even the penetrating messages of Jesus’ birth and the magic of Santa Claus won’t reach my heart.

When I was young, my parents gave me The Polar Express.

A Christmas Concert: Witnesses of Christ

Inside the front cover, my mother wrote: “May you always hear the bell.”

Not a year has gone by when I haven’t asked, “Will I hear the bell again this year?”

The disappointments and challenges of the year are what they are. And music doesn’t make them go away. But the performers in this Christmas concert offered praise that reached my heart. And so, once again, I thank God that I have heard the bell and felt the promise of the gift of His Son.

🔔

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

A Christmas Concert: Witnesses of Christ

  • Hark the Herald Angels Sing / Performed by Truman Brothers
  • Witnesses of Christ – Introduction / Host, David Butler
  • Witnesses of Christ: Shepherds / by Adam Hartshorn
  • While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks / Sung by USU Chamber Singers
  • Witness of Christ: Simeon / by Matheus Santos
  • It Came Upon a Midnight Clear / Sung by Daniel Beck
  • Witness of Christ: Manger / by David Butler
  • O come, O come Emmanuel / Sung by Allie Gardiner and Wade Farr duet
  • Kids Talking about Christmas / Presented by Shaunna Thompson
  • Deck the Halls / Played by Josh and Lindsey Wright
  • Witness of Christ: Mary / by Mary Alisa
  • Infant holy, Infant Lowly / Sung by Stella Yeritsyan
  • Moment Video – Nativity
  • In the Bleak Midwinter / Sung by Rise Up Children’s Choir
  • Witnesses of Christ Today / by Host David Butler
  • Oh, Come All Ye Faithful / by Abraham Thomas, Aitana Alapa, and Terrell Baker

Memories of singing at Temple Square and my music background.

By |2021-12-15T14:24:23-07:00December 13th, 2021|Faith, General Life|0 Comments